Don’t Let Your Tribe Be Your Identity
There was a time when I thought of myself as a band director, and that was mostly it. I knew I had other interests, but I was a band director in my thinking most of my day. There came a time when I realized that I needed to spend more time away from that one passion, and that this would ultimately make me a better educator.
Daniel Morrison and Mike Martin talked about this on a recent webinar titled When More Is More: The Benefit of Pursuing Many Interests. They discuss that they each got better at their main passion when they also got involved in other things in a serious way. WATCH THE WEBINAR HERE
I now think of myself as a music educator, bodybuilder, dog lover, martial arts guy, theme part enthusiastic, movie lover, book reader, progressive thinker, aspiring baker, world class cuddler….the list goes on and on!
There is a famous story of a football fan who so closely identified with his chosen pro team that he actually committed suicide after a particularly brutal season. It’s one thing to be a big fan and really care about how your team does, but it’s something else to find yourself in fits of depression after a loss. Finding a balance in our passions is part of growing up and coming a successful adult in this crazy world of ours.
Our country has many issues right now which stem from this lack of balance. If someone is so closely identified to a political party or figure that it becomes their entire identity, the only lens through which they see the world, then it becomes impossible for them to have any perspective. Our brains are wired to keep us sane, but this wiring can serve us poorly if we find ourselves thinking that being part of a certain group is WHO WE ARE. In this case we will negate all information that disagrees with this narrow world view, and our brain will find a way to justify almost anything. The terror of losing this identity is too great to step back and think rationally.
I encourage you to do some thinking about all of the parts of your identity. How do you see yourself, and how to you interact with the world? This is the time of year to get quiet and consider this. Creating some balance will also keep you from see the “other” as the enemy. The person you are afraid of is just a person like you who is trying to do their best – but may be wrapped up in their tribe. (They are also likely getting some bad information from people they think they can trust – but likely should not.)
Most important to me is being an honest, caring, and kind person. I focus on trying to do good and help people through my work, rather than look for victories or monetary rewards as my main goal. Growing up and finding many interests (and many ways to think about our identity) is the way to live a happy and balanced life.
Take time to consider this, root for your team, but see it as just one part of the stew that makes up who you are.
Tim Hinton
January 7, 2022
