Giving Your Full Attention
I love giving tours of our Bed & Breakfast, especially if with only one person or a small group. It’s a joy to share with them what we have created, and I get the wonderful gift of seeing them react and appreciate the details and work that went into it.
I work hard to remain fully present with the people I’m showing the house, to give them my full attention. This helps me see their reactions, but also helps me see what they are paying attention to, and to know which details to point out to them.
It has been amazing to see the reaction from people when I give them my full attention. There have been many times when someone seems profoundly affected and appreciative, simply by the act of me paying attention, stopping to answer a question, ask them about themselves, and give them the kindness of my time. I’m stopping to share a thoughtful conversation, even for a few moments, and this can have a profound impact on people.
If taking time to be with someone on a tour of our house can have this impact, imagine what it can do in our lives in general. I’ve seen this same thing play out with the check-out person at the grocery store. If I really take a moment to look directly at them and ask how they are doing, they seem almost shocked that I am “seeing” them. Of course, I have to make the effort to allow myself to slow down and take a moment, not something I am always able to do. But the moments I create when I do look directly at the person bagging groceries and say “thank you” don’t go unnoticed.
That moment when you say hello to a student sitting alone, or the time you take to say “thank you” when an employee really helps you with something: these moments really matter and add up. We live in brutal times when we are being bombarded with negative news and constantly reminded that the “others” are all out to get us and destroy our way of life. Most of this is baloney, cooked up by fragile powerful men who are using this to control us. We can all do better than this.
I urge you to take a few minutes to read this amazing article in the New York Times: How to Stay Sane in Brutalizing Times by David Brooks. I found it very helpful, with concepts that I needed to hear. And I encourage you to give yourself a gift: take time to slow down and be present with someone. You’ll both be better for it.
Tim Hinton
November 3, 2023
