The Power of Encouragement
At the gym recently, one of the regulars who usually trains alone was training with a friend. The friend had an impressive physique but was a terrible workout partner. I trained near them for a long stretch of time and I never heard this friend say one positive thing or one bit of encouragement during the workout.
I’ve had the good fortune to have many terrific workout partners over the years, and all the best ones were there to encourage me to work hard and do my best. Aside from spotting me on some exercises, they make the workout fun and give me a boost when I need it.
I want to remind you of the power of encouragement. Life can be difficult and some tasks can challenge us greatly. We all need friends and colleagues to help us out sometimes. This can be as simple as holding the door, saying hello, or stopping to ask how we are doing and offering to help.
I work with marching bands, and this is the time of year when band students are returning to practice for the upcoming season. Often they have not taken the time to acclimate to the brutal heat and sun, and many have spent much of the summer quite sedentary. Suddenly they are up early and sweating in the hot sun. Add to this mix that they are being challenged to learn skills and perform in ways they have never imagined. So they can feel out of their depth while being completely out of breath.
What they need is encouragement. They need adults and other students to tell them they are doing a good job, remind them the hard work is going to be worth it, and even help them up when they fall. Instructors and student leaders must know how to correct someone and give them advice on how to improve in a way that feels encouraging rather than critical. (One simple method is to say something positive before making the correction. “This part was a lot better, but we still need to remember this….”)
Any time we try anything new it can be difficult. The first few days are often when people give up and quit a new activity. Having someone to encourage you during these times is critical. There are several effective ways to do this.
If you meet someone struggling with something new, share your own journey with them. “I remember my first days in the gym and how intimidated I was. I thought everyone was looking at me, but I came to realize that everyone is really only paying attention to what they are doing.” This is very helpful to young band students who are struggling. Have older members share their stories of being new and how difficult it was, but then also the rewards of sticking with it.
It’s also very helpful to have a friend to join you in starting something new. Having a friend who will show up at the gym or the baking class or even just to walk around the block is very powerful. We don’t want to disappoint someone, and knowing they are expecting us is a huge motivator. Plus you can struggle through the early times together, encouraging each other. (This can even be done virtually. Find someone who is willing to help you be accountable and who you report to.)
People all around us are often struggling with new skills and experiences, and employing simple acts of kindness really can make a difference. Taking the time to say an encouraging word or a thank you could literally transform someone’s day. I encourage YOU to get out of your bubble, pay attention to those around you, and share a smile or kind word when it might be helpful to those around you.
Don’t be like the self-absorbed guy at the gym who failed to be a good workout partner. Give that compliment, say an encouraging word, and make someone’s day a little better. Find a friend and tackle that new task together. And share with others your story: that you have been there and are happy you decided to stick to it. The discipline and grit you learn will serve you well your entire life. Be one of the helpers and encourage others!
Tim Hinton
August 4, 2024
