Making Decisions Out Of Fear

I have made a lot of decisions in my lifetime: small decisions like what to have for lunch, and big decisions like what city to live in.

I’ve now lived long enough to know clearly that making decisions out of fear has never served me well.

It’s one thing to be very clear on the risks and dangers of taking a certain course of action, and it’s another to limit one’s life choices out of fear.  The distinction is important.  There were times when my life got a lot smaller because I was afraid to engage fully with the world.  I would decline an invitation to an outing, or choose not to attend a work event, based on fear and not reality.

I can be social and even gregarious, but only when I feel safe in the environment.  There is too much bullying and name-calling in my history for me be too free and open unless I know I can trust those I’m with.

Limitations based on fears became enough of a problem for me that I ventured into therapy, a decision based on hope (and perhaps desperation for a better life) that really served me well.  I also was drawn to certain spiritual teachings which have helped me to have a healthier and more positive outlook on life.

Our society loves to control us through fear.  Advertisers and politicians know that this raw emotion can manipulate us and control us.  Seeing dangerous and fearful things clearly is valuable, but letting someone frighten you into doing their will is life-limiting.  I am thankful that through hard work and study I have learned to see past this fear-mongering, step back, and gain a healthy perspective.

If you find yourself limited in any way, making decisions based on fear which keep you from enjoying life to the fullest, declining to participate in something that would likely bring you joy, or failing to be bold and take changes based on hope, then I hope you will stop, think again, and seek some help to get past this.  My life now is much more joyful, and I more often make decisions based on hope and joy rather than fear.

When my husband Steve and I decided to create our Bed & Breakfast, Phantom History House, there were many reasons to be fearful when taking this leap of faith.  But our excitement and vision of the experience we wanted to create for our guests has carried us through the difficulties and challenges.  Any endeavor we each decide to pursue includes risks and the potential for failure, but failing to try can be far more devastating than making the effort and failing.  I honor everyone who decides to open that business, start that workout plan, learn that new skill or sport, start that club, or begin a new career.  Focus on why you are excited and what your heart is telling you.  Taking the chance is worth it!

It’s so much more fun to make plans based on what you WANT rather than what you fear.  It’s exciting to plan for a better future and work toward goals that make your heart sing, rather than receding from life because of what might go wrong.  Write down what you want your life to be, make plans on how to get there, then take the first step today!

Tim Hinton

November 3, 2024

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