Years Later, I Understand
One of the advantages of having been on this planet for a good while is that you gain perspective that can be very helpful. I tend to over-react less, stop and think more, and often remember something from my past that calms me down. And I also look back and realize all the times that I didn’t understand something initially, only to finally “get it” later.
I don’t begrudge the younger, less knowledgeable me, but I’m happy that I have continued to learn and grow. There was a time when I thought Mozart was really boring. It all sounded the same to my ears. Then with time and experience and more music in my ears, I found that one day I was hearing the music differently. Now I start almost every day listening to Mozart as a calm, secure soundtrack to my morning.
There was a time when I took a few years away from winter guard. When I found myself back in a gym watching a world class guard, I had a difficult time making sense of it. I seemed to just see a frenzy of moment and things flying in the air. When I complained about this to my good friend Mary, she simply looked at me and said “You just don’t know how to watch it.” I was a bit offended at the time, but I found she was right. After some time my brain “remembered” and also learned to see the patterns and how it all was working.
I love watching gymnastics and figure skating, but I don’t really know how to watch it. I marvel at the athleticism and beauty of both sports, but I often don’t see the nuances that the commentators point out. I’ve learned to enjoy the parts I DO understand, and leave the analysis to the experts. I often find that I’m happier that way anyway.
What all of this tells me is that it’s okay not to know everything. This also means that I can freely admit when I don’t really understand something, and then I don’t have to pretend. It seems that many people in our culture think they know a lot more about things than they do. We’ve joked when a friend who could not make it through high school biology is suddenly an expert on viral diseases on social media. I’ve learned to trust those who DO know, and not try to be something I’m not.
When I watch soccer, I just see a bunch of people running around. But one day I may decide to really study the game and I’m sure I’ll enjoy it more. I used to think golf was boring until I spent a day at a professional golf tournament. I was terrible at baking until I started doing it regularly and started learning how it worked. And I now love Mozart. Years later, I finally understand. And I’m thankful.
Tim Hinton
April 15, 2022
