You don’t have to be angry all the time.
If you’re feeling angry all the time, I want to encourage you to do better. You could feel peace or love or gratitude, or even tired but satisfied.
It seems that the primary emotion of our time is outrage. News channels and political figures know they can benefit by keeping you angry all the time. But this is a cheap and lazy emotion.
I discovered that many times when I was angry and obsessed with something, I was actually using it to avoid feeling another more difficult emotion. I was avoiding feeling sad or hurt or lonely. I learned that I need to allow myself to feel those more difficult emotions to get past them and move back to peace and happiness. Being angry was just a distraction, and it didn’t serve me well.
Many people in our culture find stimulation and excitement in being outraged. This has led to a cottage industry of outlandish conspiracy theories that seem to get more ridiculous each day. You can do better than this.
Being outraged may feel exhilarating in the body, but it’s just a substitute for other ways to feel this same exhilaration, other emotions which would serve you well. Laughing with friends, intimate contact, the thrill of playing or watching sports, sweating in the gym and reaching personal goals, enjoying the beauty of nature, watching a great movie, all of these can bring this same feeling in a much more positive and life-enhancing way.
What we focus on is what we become. What we think about all the time we become. So who do you want to be?
Do you want to be outraged all the time, or do you want to live a happy life?
The next time you find yourself angry and stewing over the latest political outrage, I encourage you to turn away and focus on a goal, on something you’re grateful for, or just get busy in a some productive way. Clean out a closet. Go for a walk. Bake a cake. Read a book. Play with your dog. Just turn away from the anger. It takes practice, but each time you realize you’re in that outrage, just stop and focus somewhere else. You have the ability to put your attention wherever you choose. Make that choice and spend your time in a way that is productive or at least makes you happy.
You can do it. Start today!
Tim Hinton
January 31, 2024
