One of the most valuable things leaders can do is to ask questions on the back end of the process to help them gain perspective and learn from their successes and failures.  Too many leaders finish a task and never assess the process they went through.  They simply dash off to accomplish the next task.

Author John Maxwell suggests there are three questions leaders should ask to help them learn from each experience.

1. How was your experience?
2. What did you learn?
3. What would you do differently the next time?

One of the more difficult challenges of being a band director or coach is learning to deal with criticism.  Let’s face it.  Every thing we do is on public display and everyone who has an opinion….informed or otherwise…..has an opinion.  And they want to share it.  Sadly, I have seen good people walk away from the business because they struggled to deal with unfounded criticisms.

It would be easy to tell young teachers and coaches to “ignore it,” but that is not as easy as it sounds.  Instead, I advise them to recognize that most often, the criticisms are directed at a decision they made or a policy they have, and NOT at them as a person.  The second thing I advise them to do is to listen to the criticism and reflect upon it to determine if there is any validity to it.  If the answer is yes, make the appropriate and necessary changes.  If the answer is no, ignoring it won’t make it go away.  The best you can do is communicate the reasoning behind the decision or policy and move on.

Today, no every day, I encourage you to consider how you deal with the inevitable criticisms.  Carrying them around with you is clearly not good for your mental health so there must be alternatives.  However you choose to deal with it, just remember, the criticism is almost always directed at a decision or policy… and not YOU!  Just sayin’!

Make Today a Magnificent Day!

Gary L Rupert

Lead Mentor/COO

II:Leaders Creating:II Leaders

LCL Mentors @ Marching Arts Education

My first teaching experience was as a long-term sub for a lady on maternity leave.  The first thing I did was ask her for the names of her student leaders AND the most challenging member of the band.  When I met with the students, I told them they were there because I wanted to meet with the leaders of the band.  I could see the look on the young man’s face as he pondered why HE was there. I paired the kids and gave them each something to do, making sure that I paired with the young man in question.  As we spent the day working together, we were able to develop a positive relationship.  Instead of being a challenge, he became a solid band member who I could depend on.

Want to measure the culture of your band?  Don’t just talk to the kids who do ridiculous things like get straight A’s, practice all the time, and are completely committed to band.  You need to know what is happening with the kids on the other end of the spectrum.  What concerns them?  What would they like to see changed?  What would make the experience more engaging for them?  Spend some quality time with them doing anything, and you just might gain some insights and develop a relationship that will change a challenge into an asset.

Today, no every day, I encourage you to consider how you can engage the most challenging kids in your program.  It is pretty rare that you would meet the needs of the disengaged by using the same tools you use to engage those who are already committed.  That being said, it really isn’t that hard to help the disengaged to become engaged.  We just need to be attentive to what they are saying and feeling.  It is all about building a positive relationship!  Just sayin’!

Make Today a Magnificent Day!

Gary L Rupert

Lead Mentor/COO

II:Leaders Creating:II Leaders

LCL Mentors @ Marching Arts Education

When a director was asked about what he would say to a new band director he shared the following:  We all know that you don’t know….and its okay!  He went on to share something that I found to be true when I was a beginning teacher.  We come out of school having a great deal of musical skill and knowledge, but we don’t know anything about the art of teaching.  It will take several years of experience and LOTS of mistakes before you begin to feel like you are standing on solid ground.

This not just an important lesson for beginning teachers.  It is a valuable lesson for all of our students.  Being successful as musicians and as a band requires experience and mistakes….lots and lots of mistakes.  More importantly they need to know that you know, that they don’t know, and it is okay.  Too often we become fixated on the performance piece and forget that it is all about learning and growth and that is NOT okay!

Today, no every day, I encourage you to share this important lesson with your students.  When they come into our programs, we know what they don’t know and it is our jobs to help them learn and grow into the incredible young people we know they can be.  Yes, of course, we would like to have great ensembles.  When we are able to help them transition from not knowing….to knowing….the natural consequence IS great ensembles.  Just sayin’!

Make Today a Magnificent Day!

Gary L Rupert

Culture Strategist/Mentor

II:Leaders Creating:II Leaders

LCL Mentors @ Marching Arts Education

Most educators will have their students for one year.  Occasionally an elementary teacher will be repositioned and have the opportunity to work with the same kids a second time.  Even high school teachers may have kids sign up for more than one of their classes.  But if you are a band director….well, you see them for marching band, concert band, wind ensemble, jazz ensemble, theory class, percussion ensemble, in-door drum line and color guard.  You see them during the school day, before the school day, after the school day, on the weekends, during the summer, and even during holiday breaks.

Let’s face it.  If you are a band director these are not students….this is family! And at the end of each school year, it is difficult to let the seniors go.  Some you will never see, or hear from, again.  Others will occasionally keep in touch through social media or a brief visit when they are home.  A rare few will make it a point to stay connected long after they have graduated.  I cherish the moments when I hear from or see former students.  There is something terribly rewarding about walking into a place and having a former student you haven’t seen in years, walk up to you, offer you a firm handshake, look you in the eye, and ask “How are you Sir?”  I would like to think I earned that respect.

Today, no every day, I remind you of all the time, energy, knowledge, and love you have invested in your students.  And when it is time for them to leave the band family, know that you have had an immeasurable impact on their lives.  And while you may never hear from many of them again, from time to time, you will receive an email of thanks, a brief visit when they are home, or a firm handshake.  And if you are really lucky, they will look you in the eye and ask “How are you Ma’am (or Sir)?”  Offering you the sign of respect you so richly deserve.  Just sayin’!

Make Today a Magnificent Day!

Gary L Rupert

Culture Strategist/Mentor

II:Leaders Creating:II Leaders

LCL Mentors @ Marching Arts Education

I remember it very vividly.  We were on our way to a contest and after being unable to improve our scores the previous week, one of my students asked what I would do if they exceeded our week’s goal.  I looked at her and said, “Beat the goal and I will let you hit me in the face with a pie.”  And of course, they did it.  So the plan was that at the next rehearsal, I would allow her to hit me with the pie.  The problem?  Most of the band showed up with pies.  And I allowed the all to rub them in my face!

A big part of being credible is keeping your promises.  When you give your word that you will do something, and then you follow through on your commitments, it has a powerful effect on people.  I understood that it would be through my actions that my students would come to know the depth of my convictions.  When people see you doing what you say, then they have evidence that you mean it.  Otherwise it is just words.  I knew my actions would speak louder than my words.

Today, no every day, I encourage you to take every opportunity to let your students see your level of commitment to YOUR words.  When you set the example, others will follow.  Your credibility depends on it.  Just sayin’!

Make Today a Magnificent Day!

Gary L Rupert

Culture Strategist/Mentor

II:Leaders Creating:II Leaders

LCL Mentors @ Marching Arts Education

Things were going great….until they weren’t.  My students were doing all the things I asked of them….until they weren’t.  It was an important lesson I needed to learn.  As musicians we spend years learning how to listen to what the music says and yet we don’t listen to the things our students are saying to us.  Perhaps not in words, but through their actions.

My good friend James would tell you that the greatest impetus for action is needs, and in order to know one’s needs, you must have some rapport or relationship with them.  It turns out, I was listening to MY needs, and not the needs of my students. This was the beginning of my work with building a student leadership group.  When I learned to meld my needs as an educator with their needs as students, my job became appreciably easier.

Today, no every day, I encourage you to listen to what your students are telling you.  Oh, I don’t mean to suggest that you should give them everything they want, but when you are responsive to their needs, they become more responsive to yours.  Learning to listen to my students was only the first part of my lesson.  The second part was learning to adapt.  Just sayin’!

Make Today a Magnificent Day!

Gary L Rupert

Culture Strategist/Mentor

II:Leaders Creating:II Leaders

LCL Mentors @ Marching Arts Education

It was 6 AM and I was on my way to school.  I am not sure what made me glance to my left, but there, all curled up on the steps of a church, was one of my students.  I quickly pulled over to see what was going on.  He told me had argued with his Dad the night before and was thrown out.  With no place to go, he ultimately found himself trying to stay warm and sleep on the front porch of the church.  I made him get in my car and took him to school.  I took him to the band room, got him something to eat, and gave him some blankets and told him to try to get some sleep.

In everyone’s life there are defining moments and for this young man, THIS was one of them.  Fast forward somewhere around 25 years and I had the good fortune of running into him for the first time since he graduated from high school.  As we exchanged pleasantries and our excitement over seeing each other, he said to me, “I will never forget the morning you took care of me.  That meant the world to me.”  At that moment, I was almost reduced to tears.  You see, not only was it a defining moment for him, it was also one for me.  I had two sons of my own, and I couldn’t possibly imagine “throwing one of them out.”  That moment….that shared experience so many years ago….shook me to the core.

Today, no every day, I encourage you to remember that every decision you make on behalf of your students has the opportunity to become a defining moment.  That morning I was fortunate to be in the right place, at the right time, to help one of my students in need.  When I stepped in to help, I wasn’t thinking beyond his immediate needs.  Little did I know that it would be a life changing moment…for both of us.  Just sayin’!

Make Today a Magnificent Day!

Gary L Rupert

Culture Strategist/Mentor

II:Leaders Creating:II

LCL Mentors @ Marching Arts Education

I asked them to “raise their right hand as high as they could” and they all raised their hand.  Then I said, “now raise them higher” and they all reached higher.  i immediately asked how that was possible.  If you did, in fact, raise your right hand as high as you could the first time, it would be impossible to raise it even higher.  I explained how that was a significant representation of how their best effort in practices and games was, perhaps, not their best effort at all.

Sometimes being “good” isn’t aiming high enough.  Erwin McManus, the pastor of Mosaic Church in Los Angeles, said, “We spend so much time worrying about our kids being good….not breaking the rules, getting into trouble, and basically behaving….that we often forget to invite them to be great.  In the exercise described above, the kids were willing to settle for good.  They didn’t truly reach for as high says they could go.

Today, no every day, I encourage you to help your students see when they are raising their personal expectations only to “good,” when they are capable of aspiring to be “great.”  I once read that true leadership is “an invitation to greatness that we extend to others.”  Consider the insights of Pastor McManus and expect and help your students to be good….and then invite them to be great.

Make Today a Magnificent Day!

Gary L Rupert

Culture Strategist/Mentor

II:Leaders Creating:II Leaders

LCL Mentors @ Marching Arts Education

If you want to improve your student leader’s growth levels, you need to create a culture that promotes leadership reproduction.  When you do that, developing leaders can become the norm.  In contrast, in an organizational culture where reproduction is not a priority, you will quickly suffer from a scarcity of student leaders.  To develop a reproducing culture, author and leadership expert John Maxwell suggests that you need these five expectations in place:

1. The leader of the team is the primary culture carrier.  You must model it, nurture it, monitor it, and incentivize it.
2. Everyone is expected to mentor someone.  A leadership development culture is modeled from the top, but it is grown from the bottom up.
3. Leaders focus on developing leaders, not recruiting followers.  Leaders who focus on recruiting followers are actually shrinking their organization, not expanding it.
4. People are continually growing themselves out of their jobs.  One of the key transitions to becoming a reproducer of leaders is to focus less on what you can accomplish personally and more on what you can accomplish through others.
5. Leaders become more than mentors….they become sponsors.  A mentor helps and guides you by pouring into you.  But a sponsor actually opens doors for you so that you can walk through them to be successful.

I was speaking to a football coach at the gym this morning and he shared that one of his players was just offered a full scholarship at a Division 1 college.  Well….kind of.  It turns out the player is only a freshman in high school.  Oh sure, he has the size and athletic ability that would lead one to believe he will be able to contribute to their program, but a lot can happen in the next three years.  While the school can’t really offer him a scholarship at this point, they have promised that one will be available when he is of age.

I found it interesting that as the coach continued to tell me the story, he never spoke about the kid’s ability to play football.  He said he told the young man that he has a great opportunity but that he was going to have to take care of his grades, change who he was hanging out with, and develop better work habits.  And there it is.  The magic formula.  Talent, in and of itself, is rarely the deciding factor in one’s success.  It takes constant learning, surrounding yourself with good people, and having a good work ethic.

Today, no every day, I encourage you to help your students to understand this important lesson.  You know, all to well, the amount of time you spent in the practice room.  You also know that it was important to surround yourself with good musicians.  And it is an unquestionable truth that life-long learning is a critical skill.  When we got to college, we found out everyone there had talent.  The truly successful ones, were the ones who had all those OTHER skills.  Just sayin’!

Make Today a Magnificent Day!

Gary L Rupert

Culture Strategist/Mentor

II:Leaders Creating:II Leaders

LCL Mentors @ Marching Arts Education

Today, I have decided to break the routine by sharing something that came in my email today from Tom Bilyeu.  It was too good to pass up and a wonderful lesson for you to share with your students.  I hope you enjoy it.

Once, two young fish were swimming along a stream.  They happened to come across an older, more experienced fish swimming the opposite way.

The older fish nods at them and asks, “How’s the water today, boys?”

The two younger fish looked at each other confused.  After swimming along for another few minutes, one turns to the other and says, “What the hell is water?”

The story of those two young fish is a powerful metaphor.  Fish don’t understand the concept of water, they have no sense of being in water (or even comprehend what it might mean to get OUT of the water.)

Your frame of reference….how you see the world….is the same.  It is what you swim in every day, whether you realize it or not.  The amount of joy, frustration, gratitude, sadness, hope, or anger you feel in life is a reflection of your frame of reference and how you perceive the world, because it doesn’t matter WHAT YOU LOOK AT in any particular person or situation.  It only matters what you see!

Make Today a Magnificent Day!

Gary L Rupert

Culture Strategist/Mentor

II:Leaders Creating:II Leaders

LCL Mentors @ Marching Arts Education

My son coaches a local AAU basketball team and I hang out and help when I can.  At practice the other day he sent a player to me who was having difficulty in school.  The young man explained that he had two grades in the 60s.  In the one class he missed a test during an excused absence for his grandmother’s funeral and since it was at the end of the term, the teacher wouldn’t allow him to make it up, giving him a zero instead.  In the second class, he told me he was having a difficult time understanding the material.

In both cases, the student wanted to place the blame for his grade on the teacher, and while I believe the teachers have some responsibility in this matter, the lesson I needed the young man to learn was that he should look inward first….and then outward.  What responsibility did he have to making arrangements for making up the test or perhaps doing an alternative assignment as the teacher deemed appropriate?  What responsibility did he have to going to see his teacher when he didn’t understand  the material?  I wanted him to understand that he could place the responsibility for his success on others, or he could learn that the person most responsible for his success is him and the choices he makes….or does not make.

Today, no every day, I encourage you to continue to find the teachable moment beyond the obvious situation.  Did the first teacher have some responsibility to make sure the young man had an opportunity to make up a test due to an excused absence?  Of course.  Did the second teacher have some responsibility for recognizing his struggles and offer some type of support?  I would say yes.  But for this young man, I thought the more critical lesson to be learned was that if he had proactively sought to make up the test in the first class and get help in the second, he might not be looking at the possibility of his parents removing him from the team because of his grades.  Just sayin’!

Make Today a Magnificent Day!

Gary L Rupert

Culture Strategist/Mentor

II:Leaders Creating:II Leaders

LCL Mentors @ Marching Arts Education

There is a lot of difference between what we can’t do and what we won’t do.  What we won’t do will keep us from being successful a lot more that what we can’t do.  Poor choices, not lack of talent and ability, are the greatest hindrances to most people’s success.  If we want to succeed in life, we must do what we don’t want to do, so we can do what we need to do.  We must be willing to pay the price.  – John Maxwell

I am a runner.  Earlier this morning a good friend of mine (a former runner) was commenting that if I called him to go running at 7AM, he couldn’t do it.  Then he went on to say that he lacked the desire and discipline to get out there and do it.  So which was it?  He couldn’t or he wouldn’t.  He is clearly capable of getting up and running.  It was not a lack of talent or ability.  It is a choice.  He is unwilling to pay the price!

Today, no every day, I encourage you to help your students recognize when they are limiting their success, not because they lack the ability, but because they are unwilling to pay the price.  Remind them that no successful person has ever experienced accidental success.  Nothing of genuine value is easy, quick, and downhill.  All the precious things in life require that we pay a price.  Just sayin’!

Make Today a Magnificent Day!

Gary L Rupert

Culture Strategist/Mentor

II:Leaders Creating:II Leaders

LCL Mentors @ Marching Arts Education

Someone once defined mentoring as intentionally investing your best into the lives of others.  Every time I read those words, I think about all the people who have invested in me…..who gave of themselves freely for MY benefit.  Whatever I  can do today, whatever I can give, has been made possible because of the foundation they have given me.  I am humbled and grateful for their willingness to inspire me and teach me life-changing principles.

I wish I had taken the time to adequately thank them.  I wish I would have recognized at the time just how meaningful they were to my growth.  I can’t go back and do that now, since I have lost track of many of them (or some of them are no longer with us).  But there IS something I can do to let them know I learned a valuable lesson from them: As a leader, I have a responsibility to intentionally invest my best into the lives of others.

Today, no every day, I encourage you to take the time to acknowledge those who have invested in you for YOUR benefit.  If like me, you are not in a position to speak to them personally, the greatest gift you can give them is to pay it forward.  What am I saying?  As band directors you are already investing your best in the lives of your students.  And if you are lucky, some day when you least expect it, they will give you the thank you that you so richly deserve.  Just sayin’!

Make Today a Magnificent Day!

Gary L Rupert

Culture Strategist/Coach

II:Leaders Creating:II Leaders

LCL Mentors @ Marching Arts Education

Last week I celebrated my 69th birthday and one of the questions that keeps swimming around in my head is, “What does it feel like to be that old?”  I came to the conclusion that the only person who can answer that is me AND that answer will be a function of how I choose to live my 69th year.  One of the things I like about being older is that I have seen and done a lot in my life, and that has given me perspective.

I find it interesting that so few people truly live their lives with intention.  Oh, they possess good intentions, but they are seemingly unable to to follow through with the necessary actions to make those intentions a reality.  Intentional living turns good intentions into good actions.  It makes a person proactive and positive, rather than passive and inconsistent.  As I have aged, I have become a person who values routine.  I figure if I keep doing right things day after day, week after week, year after year, and decade after decade, they will add up to right results.

Today, no every day, I encourage you to be a person of intentional living.  Intentions in and of themselves, no matter how good they might be, are useless unless they are followed by intentional actions.  Sometimes it is difficult for a young person to have the patience to do that.  I can testify to that.  But as someone who is working on the back half of his life, I can tell you that it is worth it.  Just sayin’!

Make Today a Magnificent Day!

Gary L Rupert

Culture Strategist/Coach

II:Leaders Creating:II Leaders

LCL Mentors @ Marching Arts Education

At church this morning the Priest’s sermon was about “resisting life’s distractions.”  As he listed a number of distractions we should be resisting, I wanted to jump up and shout, “No! If a person is spending all of their time trying to resist life’s distractions, they are, in fact, thinking about them!  Tell us how to REPLACE those distractions with something more positive.”

This is a technique I learned many years ago.  For example:  I don’t drink soda.  I like it….a lot….but I don’t drink it.  I didn’t stop drinking it by resisting the urge to drink it.  I replaced drinking soda with drinking water.  Yeah, I know.  TomAto….tomAHto.  By focusing on the desired behavior, as opposed to the behavior I wanted to stop, I found it easier to make the change; a life-style change if you will.  I was able to use this same technique many times over the years, finding it allowed me to look forward to where I was going, instead of backward to where I was.

Today, no every day, I encourage you to consider whether this technique is something that will help your students learn to overcome the distractions in their lives.  It took me awhile to get the hang of it, but for me, this helped me change my entire outlook in life.  Just sayin!

Make Today a Magnificent Day!

Gary L Rupert

Culture Strategist/Coach

II:Leaders Creating:II Leaders

LCL Mentors @ Marching Arts Education

I have never really been a fan of John Calipari, University of Kentucky basketball coach.  Admittedly, I formed my opinion of him with little or no knowledge of what he was really about, instead, basing my thoughts on my perceived interpretation of things he said or did.  Recently my wife brought me a book entitled Coaching from the Inside Out, by Coach Calipari.  After reading just a few pages, I have already begun to change my opinion.  It is amazing how becoming more informed opened my mind.

I particularly liked a list he created following a bad season.  The list was to remind him of what his job really is….its meaning and higher purpose.  This is what he wrote:

NURTURER – That’s what I am.  Be patient and create a successful environment.

PROTECTOR – Help guard them against themselves and others.

CHALLENGER – Help them push through comfort levels.  Make them uncomfortable.

TEACHER – Help them create within themselves a love of learning and growth.

PROMOTER – Put them on a stage.  If we lose, it is on me.  If we win, they get all the glory.  Players first!

LASTLY, A FATHER – Give them unconditional love at all times.

I have no doubt that most successful band directors fill most, if not all, of these roles on some level.  Calipari’s list not only serves as a positive reminder of the meaning and higher purpose in his job, it also serves as a suitable reminder of the meaning and higher purpose of being a band director.  If we can come close to doing these six things, the rest will take care of itself.  Just sayin’!

Make Today a Magnificent Day!

Gary L Rupert

Culture Strategist/Coach

II:Leaders Creating:II Leaders

LCL Mentors @ Marching Arts Education

Today’s Task – February 22, 2022

Tim S. Grover, personal trainer to Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant, calls it the Four Rings of Winning.  Picture a bull’s-eye.  There is a large ring on the outside, with a slightly smaller ring inside that one, and then an even smaller ring inside that one, and then in the very center, one more little ring.

In the large outer ring, you have talent.  Everyone gets into this ring because everyone has some degree of talent.  Inside the talent ring is intelligence.  You don’t have to a genius on all topics, but you need intelligence in whatever you are striving to achieve.  The next ring is competitiveness because all the ability and smarts in the world can’t help you if you are not able or willing to compete for what you want.  The final circle is resilience and gives you the ability to see everything that can go wrong, and still get control of what can go right.

As I reflected upon these four rings, I wondered how effectively they might be used in a band setting.  Would I keep the same four rings?  If not, which would I change and why?  And how would I adjust the group culture to support such a framework.

I encourage you to consider whether this approach is something you could use within your program.  And I am curious what you would use as your four rings?  I suspect we all address these areas at some level, but perhaps not in a formal setting like the one used by Grover.  Just wonderin’!

Make Today a Magnificent Day!

Gary L Rupert

Culture Strategist/Coach

II:LeadersCreating:II Leaders

LCL Mentors @ Marching Arts Education

I remember the experience like it was yesterday.  As I walked into the Assistant Principal’s office, he was sitting there waving a piece of paper in the air.  “What is this, he asked?”  I explained that it was a referral due to the student’s ongoing behavior.  I told him I expected that he would meet one-on-one with the student to discuss her behavior and I wanted the parents called and informed about it as well.  To which he responded, “Are you kidding?”

The catch?  This was a referral for POSITIVE behavior.  When he called the student in, she was incredibly nervous.  The AP explained that she was there because of a referral based on her behavior in my class.  The poor girl was almost in tears until he explained that I had written on the referral that THIS was the perfect student….straight A’s, first in her class, first chair flute, section leader, heck, she was the student I wanted every other student to aspire to be.  When he called the parents, they were equally shocked to receive a call from the AP until he read the referral.

Today, no every day, I encourage you to take advantage of writing positive referrals for your students.  While my first attempt was with “the perfect student,” I began writing positive referrals for the marginal student who showed any signs of positive growth.  I could never understand why we made it a priority to contact the parents of kids in trouble and NOT those of the kids who were doing positive things.  Everyone needs encouragement and support.  Even the kids who are doing well!  Just sayin’!

Make Today a Magnificent Day!

Gary L Rupert

Culture Strategist/Coach

II:Leaders Creating:II Leaders

LCL Mentors @ Marching Arts Education